MarysLaryVibes

I had my last 6 teeth pulled on Wednesday. Haven't been feeling too great and my husband's birthday was coming up so I've been getting things together for that. I've made myself go square dancing and to my classes even though I didn't feel like it. So whatever excuse I may come up with, I neglected this for a week.  Bad teeth are a bad thing. I thought I was doing myself a favor by waiting until I just couldn't handle the pain but that wasn't a good idea. I actually didn't wait until the pain was unbearable; I went in when it was really uncomfortable. By then the teeth were so bad that 4 broke off and had to be DUG out. They gave me an immediate denture but that doesn't fit real well with the swelling and is causing sores. Fortunately, the good dentist gave me pain meds.  I share this because cancer treatment can cause havoc in your mouth. Many of you may be doing the same thing as me. Waiting. Do yourself a favor, don't wait.  It is worth noting...

  A few issues I had as a kid and still have as an adult (I point these out because these were listed as what used to be guidelines for determining if a person was on the autism spectrum. I was never diagnosed as such but I've looked at a FB group and can relate to a lot of that) 1. difficulty making eye contact;  2. awkward in social situations; 3. difficulty making friends or maintaining friends.  I'm constantly looking at the floor. That becomes a problem square dancing because I loose track of where I am in the "square". Walking down the hall at work or church, my eyes are often times on the floor and if I meet someone coming the other direction I acknowledge them but I might not look them in the eye. I usually look away quickly. My kids tell me I don't have a filter. I don't even realize sometimes that something is inappropriate until it comes out of my mouth; now and then someone has to point it out to me. And maintaining friends....ugh. I try to show lo...

Another one from my grandma's collection: A Little Mixed Up Just a line to say I'm living  That I'm not among the dead. Though I'm getting more forgetful, And more mixed up in my head. For sometimes I can't remember, When I stand at foot of stair, If I must go up for something Or I've just come down from there. And before the frig', so often, My poor mind is filled with doubt, Have I just put food away, or Have I come to take some out. And there's times when it's dark out, With my night cap on my head I don't know if I'm retiring Or just getting out of bed. So if it's my turn to write you, There's no need to getting sore, I may think that I have written And don't want to be a bore. So, remember - I do love oyu, And I wish that you were here; But now, it's nearly mail time, So I must say, "Goodbye, dear." There I stood beside the mailbox, With a face so very red, in place of mailing you my letter, I had opened it inst...

As I sit to write this, it occurred to me that 50 years ago today, October 4, 1974, I wed my husband for the first time. Had we stayed married we'd be celebrating a big one. As it stands, though, we were divorced for 7 years. We have a new anniversary of September 8, 2007. 09-08-07. I'm terrible at remembering dates and I wanted one that I could remember easily. So 9-8-7 it is. My husband wanted to celebrate 40 years a few years back that would have been the first 25 years plus the additional 15 years we had at the time. That seemed like cheating to me. You can't celebrate 40 if it isn't actually 40 straight years.  I wasn't keen about going back to hubby number one but God told me that's what I should do. My response to God was, "please, God, send me to Africa. Send me to Alaska. Just don't make me marry him again." God said "Trust". And my response to that was "Um, you want me to trust him!? It didn't go so well the first time....

I'm a black and white kinda girl. If I think you're wrong I have trouble letting that go. I don't TRY to argue, but it often comes across that way. I just want to make sure you understand what I'm trying to say. I guess (so my thinking goes) if you really understood what I'm trying to say you would have to agree with me because you'd understand that I'm right. So I keep trying to convince you of my way of thinking. Hahaha! LOL! Whatever laugh you want to put in here.  That kind of thinking didn't go well as a kid.  That kind of thinking doesn't go well as a wife. [Insert whatever laugh you want in here also.] But frankly I was (almost) always right. Isn't that what we all think. (?) The Bible is always right. It's very black and white.  The Bible is Truth.   When in doubt go there. That can be tricky. "Wives submit to your husband." But HOW MUCH submitting is God talking about? I felt like a doormat at times. The Bible also says ...

Isaiah 40:28-31  "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth  Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, And to him who likes might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the Lord  Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary." And you might laugh! I know sometimes I wonder where that strength is. Why are things so hard. I become weary. But am I weary because I have taken my eyes off of the Creator? Things happen; bad things happen. Where is God? He is beside me giving me strength, even though I don't always feel it.  Some of you may say "I pray, and I pray, and I pray and I'm still stuck in this same situation. Why isn't God answering my prayers?" All I can say to you is p...

 My mom has a collection of paper items that HER mother cut out of newspapers and such. Sometimes my grandmother hand wrote some things, so I'm not sure where she got them. And sometimes my grandmother simply wrote out the words to a hymn and saved them.  I'm going to share some of that now and again. Here's one for ya! (I don't have any kind of permission to share this. I'm not sure if Ms. Moorhead is still around and I couldn't even tell you what newspaper it was in. I don't want to break any laws, so I will share sparingly.) FACADE by Wendy Moorhead As I look at peoples opaque facades, I tremble, knowing I reveal a wad of tangled, sincere emotions. I try to appear like others and hide behind a shadow of cliches, smiles and polite "ha-ha's" but I yearn to grow beyond the shallow depths of their "luv" I yearn, I wish, that I would see someone who wants transparency, to show what he feels without wavering. But I fear it is almost too ...

Just got back from trip to MD Anderson. Doctor says no growth, no treatment, see me in 6 months. In fact, the radiology report on my CT scan says nothing has changed since last year.  Doc said next time he'll talk about spreading out my visits even more. I gave him the squirley eye because I get freaked waiting 6 months. Going longer than that between visits with no treatment....scarey. So he laughed and said "ok we'll keep it at 6 months".  I should be excited about this, but I would prefer I get a report of NED, No Evidence of Disease. I wish they could cut them all out and call it good. Then maybe I would be okay with going in less often.  Reality is, I am very lucky. I have been dealing with this cancer actively now for 5 years. I've been through some rough times. I've said before breathing became very difficult. I had trouble walking a flight of stairs. But thanks be to God and the amazing doctors at MD Anderson, I have a good life.  Some of you are cance...

I was raised Catholic. Going to church was a very formal thing. We dressed up every Sunday and on Easter we added hats (sometimes even gloves). Once you stepped into the "sanctuary" you had to be totally quiet. In my early years mass was in Latin so it was difficult for anybody to really understand. What a sad way to try to bring others to the saving knowledge of Jesus. Through sermons and songs we learned the basic stories of Jesus, but why the recitation of words people didn't understand? Fortunately, they gradually moved to all English service, and I think they eventually relaxed the dress code.  Once I married and we stopped going to Catholic mass, the services were not as formal. You could talk in the "auditorium" before and after service without being stared at, but dressing up for church was still a thing. Dress codes began to relax for church, but by then I was the pastor's wife and it was expected that I would dress up and so would my kids. There we...

I was a shy lass. Making eye contact is still difficult for me.  I mentioned before that kids were unkind to me in grade school. Now whether I was shy and unusually quiet and that's why kids picked on me, or did kids pick on me and THEN I became shy and unusually quiet? I don't know. I kinda think I was always shy. I was always the last one picked to be on a team.  I was the slowest in the 100 yard dash and I could never make it to the top of that stupid rope.  They made fun of me 'til I cried and when I cried they laughed at me.  So I became  withdrawn. I stayed away from people when possible.  As an adult I learned to cope. I learned to trust people a little more.  When I lost my voice box it became more difficult to be around people. I have to have a lot of determination and patience to be understood. If my voice prosthesis is working, you can bet it will start malfunctioning about halfway through a meal. Some people don't even bother trying to talk...