"I can't breathe!" #laryngectomee life

I breathe through a hole in my neck. We laryngectomees often use a device called an HME (heat/moisture exchange). This helps keep the airway moist. A dry, irritated, airway can be deadly. I found that out last Thanksgiving Day. I got bronchitis a week before and I hadn't been following the care protocol of squirting saline into my stoma that helps keep it moist. I started coughing up small amounts of blood. I wasn't too concerned until things went south. (It was gross so I won't say anymore.)  

I was struggling to breathe. I did what I could to clear my airways but that wasn't working so I dug my suction machine out of the closet, hooked it up, and began suctioning. When I could catch a little breath, I went to the living room and told my husband to call 911. I've mentioned earlier that my husband has some physical and mental issues. He didn't call 911. Instead he wheeled himself to the door and told someone outside that I had asked to call 911. My kids were trying to figure out what was going on because my husband is often confused. So my daughter hunted me down. THAT's when they called 911. Later my daughter told me I was turning grey and my lips were blue.

I ended up in the hospital for a week. I almost coded 2 or 3 times. At one point I was struggling to breathe so I hit the call button. I said "I can't breathe". They said they would send someone down in a minute. They usually don't understand me when I talk and I could tell she was going to send someone down eventually to find out what I needed but I wasn't sure if she understood how bad I was. I hit the call light again and repeated over and over "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!". She understood. Very quickly there were about 10 people in my room. Lots of nurses, I think even a doctor or 2, but the only person who knew what to do for me was the respiratory therapist. The nurse in charge of "Code Blue" did the testing necessary to track my blood levels (I think ABG). What I needed was to be suctioned and that had not been previously set up. So I'm gasping for air while people are trying to find the suction equipment and get it set up. It felt like it took forever. Eventually, the respiratory therapist was able to suction my airway and remove most of the blood clots. I wanted to give him a hug. It felt so good to be able to breathe.

I got some rest but it was several days before I wasn't afraid to go to sleep. I was afraid my airway would get blocked while I slept. I know the Lord is with me through the good times and the bad. I pray that I show those around me that the Lord is indeed good.