facing reality, being a caregiver

I think my husband is having more bad days. I have to realize he needs more care. He used to make himself meals. We have plenty of leftovers that he could just heat up, but he doesn't remember we have them. I created a board where I listed the leftovers in the fridge. He forgets the board is there. When I tell him what's in the fridge, he occasionally will heat it up. Sometimes he just goes into the bedroom without eating. I don't know if he's just being lazy or if he can't remember what to do. "If he gets hungry he'll figure it out" you may say. I don't know if he will. 

When I prepare his bedtime insulin, sometimes I can give it to him without explaining. Sometimes he says "so I inject this in my belly?". And sometimes he says "what do I do with this?" 

I've been asking God to show me, without a voice, where I can minister. This morning during Sunday morning worship, God told me my husband needs me more. I don't need to get distracted by outside ministry. Of course I will show Jesus love where I can when I'm not at home, but I need to accept where life has brought me at this point in my life. 

My church has put me in the nursery alone. I'm not comfortable with that. A couple weeks ago I was put in charge of a craft area during a Christmas outreach. Fortunately I was given several assistants, one of which is a natural leader. 

One: I am not a leader. 

Two: the room got noisy and I was not able to be heard anyway. 

Today, January 8, 2025, started out badly. I won't go into details, but by 7:00 a.m. it was already a lot of extra work. I put on worship music and inspirational conversation to push through. 

God is good.
HE gives me strength.
Amen and amen!

Blessings!
Mary