Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! #laryngectomee, #laryngectomy

I have a TERRIBLE time making decisions!

I have very few items hung on my walls because I can't decide what to put up. I haven't hung curtains because I can't decide what I like. Fortunately, there are blinds on every window. My house is full of clutter because I can't decide what to get rid of; and IF I decide to get rid of something, do I throw it away or give it away? I can't decide so I still have most of it. Ugh!

Following Jesus wasn't a real hard decision. I was raised Catholic but didn't understand a lot of it. I was treated cruelly by my peers in parochial school and when getting ready to go to 7th grade I begged my parents to let me go to public school. Since I left parochial school I was required to go to Saturday school and youth group. One night at youth group they were planning a retreat. While the sponsors stepped away, the kids were discussing who would bring liquor. I didn't want to be a part of that and my parents didn't make me go to the retreat. That's not the kind of life I wanted. I was never required to go to youth group again.

When I was a sophomore in high school a really cute senior asked me out on a date. At the conclusion of our date he drove to a country road and pulled out a bag of liquor. I didn't want any so I waited while he drank. That kind of life just never appealed to me. I think it was a protection from God. Because of my rejection in grade school I wanted nothing more than to be accepted by my peers. I could easily have slipped into that type of life so that I would be accepted, but I did not. Protection from God. 

When I was in high school I got a job at Adair's Cafeteria. A nearby very small Christian college had no kitchen so they had an arrangement with our restaurant for their students to come over and get at least one meal a day. It was there that some guys began talking to me about "praising the Lord anyway." One day at work we were very busy and I was frustrated and I kept telling myself "praise the Lord anyway". At one point I dropped a tray full of ceramic dishes. Pieces of glass and food all over. I said it "praise the Lord anyway, praise the Lord anyway." It was my mantra, and still is sometimes. 

Then I met the man I was going to marry. Or should I say boy. I was 17, he was 16. I started going to his youth group and there saw what the love of Jesus is like. The adults, the kids, were all kind, loving, accepting people. Because I was not yet 18 I had to continue going to Catholic church. So my boyfriend and I went to both. We would go to his church and then my church. 

My boyfriend's church encouraged me to get baptized. However, my strong Catholic mom was appalled. By being baptized "again" I was totally renouncing my Catholic faith and would never be accepted in the Catholic church again. I remember the struggle to please my mom but follow Jesus in baptism. I eventually did get baptized but not until after we were married.

Many decisions have come along the way but one of the biggest was my laryngectomy. I will cover that in my next post. But for now, following Jesus was the single most important decision I have ever made.

Blessings,




Mary




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